Divorce is a very hurting procedure and nobody should get through it alone. Divorce discussions My best advice is to speak with a lawyer immediately – even if you think it will be amicable. Chances are at some point, things could get nasty. You must protect what is rightfully yours. In addition, I have known several people to just walk away from their marriage and their entitlements because they just wanted to get out. It did not take long for them to realize this was a big mistake. Divorce has such a massive impact on your financial position, you don’t want those decisions affecting the rest of your life, or any future relationship you may have.
You will need to stay organized and set your priorities during a divorce. List all the items you have to accomplish and mark them off as you go through them. A divorce produces a lot of paperwork. The simplest way to keep track of all these papers is with a three-ring binder and a three-hole punch. Put papers in chronological order and make an index. You may prefer to set up individual files for various categories of divorce papers. Some examples are correspondence with your attorney, drafts of agreements, financial information, and pleadings. Files with brads and a two-hole punch will help you keep papers neat and organized.
The best divorce advice I ever received was, “Don’t get even, get better!” Instead of directing negative energy toward your ex, generate that power toward bettering yourself. When my ex-husband and I separated and divorced, I returned to graduate school and finished my doctorate degree. I used all of my energy to empower myself toward complete self-reliance and independence. That is the very best place from which to enter your next relationship. If you are the one wanting the divorce, get all financial records copied before your mate is aware so there’s no vanishing money once you file the papers. And copy everything that could have an impact on the outcome – from checkbooks to bank statements to investment accounts. It’s much easier to avoid the “he said, she said” arguments with proof in your hands! And if at all possible, agree to use a mediator. You will save thousands of bucks but it will only work if you’re both game.
This is a very bad idea for two reasons. First, except in extremely egregious cases, most courts won’t punish your spouse financially for being a bad person. Second, hiring an attorney to punish your spouse will cost you because your attorney will need to increase the number of hours spent on your case. Increased attorney hours means higher divorce costs, and higher divorce costs means there will be fewer assets and cash left for you and your family. Try to take the emotion out of your divorce, and treat your case as a business arrangement. The best revenge is to live well after the divorce is over.
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